Lucky!!! Most of the fortunes I get aren’t fortunes at all. “Patience is a virtue” “You are a kind person”. I want predictions, dammit! Even warnings are tolerable; at least they live up to the title. These are FORTUNE cookies, not Hallmark cards.
Now I want to be a second edition D&D thief with the fortune telling proficiency, turning out fortune cookies as a scam. The tricky thing about that proficiency: The character invents BS; make the proficiency check and the target believes your BS (“the fortune teller says I’m going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger!!! OMG!!!”); Roll a 20 on the check and (believed or not, and completely unintentionally)…. the BS fortune is actually accurate. I think that this proficiency, and a cruelly inventive Dungeon Master, might explain this year. “So you predict Plague across the world, fires in the west and a zombie hurricane? Really? (rolls die) Ohhhh…..ahem, OK, then. Not sure the peasant believes it. He asks for his copper piece back.” (DM rubs hands, gleefully anticipating the look on the player’s face when they realize…)
7 thoughts on “#1119 Fortunes”
daemongirl
But, a Bog Witch can still have a beach house, right?
SurlyQueen
Sure, salt marshes are a thing…
Ale-8-One Ohmu
Lucky!!! Most of the fortunes I get aren’t fortunes at all. “Patience is a virtue” “You are a kind person”. I want predictions, dammit! Even warnings are tolerable; at least they live up to the title. These are FORTUNE cookies, not Hallmark cards.
Now I want to be a second edition D&D thief with the fortune telling proficiency, turning out fortune cookies as a scam. The tricky thing about that proficiency: The character invents BS; make the proficiency check and the target believes your BS (“the fortune teller says I’m going to meet a tall, dark, handsome stranger!!! OMG!!!”); Roll a 20 on the check and (believed or not, and completely unintentionally)…. the BS fortune is actually accurate. I think that this proficiency, and a cruelly inventive Dungeon Master, might explain this year. “So you predict Plague across the world, fires in the west and a zombie hurricane? Really? (rolls die) Ohhhh…..ahem, OK, then. Not sure the peasant believes it. He asks for his copper piece back.” (DM rubs hands, gleefully anticipating the look on the player’s face when they realize…)
SurlyQueen
Omg. I love this and I am already thinking up ways it could be done in 5.0……..
DannyboyO1
Bogwitches are not as tasty as sandwiches.
melgar
i have no idea if you have seen this yet but im showing it anyway https://catsbeaversandducks.tumblr.com/post/630885695929630720/just-a-single-mom-doing-her-best-to-provide-for
SurlyQueen
I LOVE it.
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