I eventually gave up on the standard turkey tradition and started my own. I get a boneless lump o’ turkey, a baking bag, and a bottle of marinade. There’s less waste in the bird, so it thaws quicker. I put the thawed bird in the bag. I pour the bottle of marinade in the bag. I tie off the bag so the birdmeat is always soaked in marinade. I cook it IN the marinade, and I serve it in the marinade. It is tangy, it is not dry, and it is always GONE before anybody else’s bird because it is delicious. Every. Time.
Fuck the bullshit alchemy of trying to make a turkey not suck the spit out of your piehole and then you chew it into a lump and try to wash it down. Screw having the best bites of the bird still be bland AF. Frying is maybe the only thing superior and you risk some serious fire with that. My method is easy, consistent, and tasty.
It’s a holiday, and by gods, I am not going to make a bland bird the really hard way again. I’m going to enjoy myself. 😀
We used to do just a breast when we only had a handful of people over, but a large bird is just the most efficient way to feed everyone, and keep everyone satisfied (I’ve got about a 50/50 split of friends who like white/dark meat). Every year I say I’m going to branch out and do a rub or a marinade, but I’ve yet to actually commit. I have managed the sorcery of a nice moist bird and I’m pretty proud of that!
A bit late, but I tried something last holiday that worked amazing.
If you have a 2nd (mostly unused) bathtub fill it with water. I then weighed down the turkey using a washtub so it was completely submerged. It took less than 24 hrs to thaw and I’m sure science can explain why it worked so well (something something thermal conduction something something.)
8 thoughts on “#1031 Thanksgiving Tradition”
greenecrayon
This is why we buy a fresh Turkey. This way we don’t have to worry about the defrost process.
SurlyQueen
I always get so paranoid that the won’t have one big enough. We host a Friendsgiving, so we usually need at least 15lbs!
DannyboyO1
I eventually gave up on the standard turkey tradition and started my own. I get a boneless lump o’ turkey, a baking bag, and a bottle of marinade. There’s less waste in the bird, so it thaws quicker. I put the thawed bird in the bag. I pour the bottle of marinade in the bag. I tie off the bag so the birdmeat is always soaked in marinade. I cook it IN the marinade, and I serve it in the marinade. It is tangy, it is not dry, and it is always GONE before anybody else’s bird because it is delicious. Every. Time.
Fuck the bullshit alchemy of trying to make a turkey not suck the spit out of your piehole and then you chew it into a lump and try to wash it down. Screw having the best bites of the bird still be bland AF. Frying is maybe the only thing superior and you risk some serious fire with that. My method is easy, consistent, and tasty.
It’s a holiday, and by gods, I am not going to make a bland bird the really hard way again. I’m going to enjoy myself. 😀
SurlyQueen
We used to do just a breast when we only had a handful of people over, but a large bird is just the most efficient way to feed everyone, and keep everyone satisfied (I’ve got about a 50/50 split of friends who like white/dark meat). Every year I say I’m going to branch out and do a rub or a marinade, but I’ve yet to actually commit. I have managed the sorcery of a nice moist bird and I’m pretty proud of that!
Danparadox
A bit late, but I tried something last holiday that worked amazing.
If you have a 2nd (mostly unused) bathtub fill it with water. I then weighed down the turkey using a washtub so it was completely submerged. It took less than 24 hrs to thaw and I’m sure science can explain why it worked so well (something something thermal conduction something something.)
SurlyQueen
OOOOOOh we DO have this feature!
If only I can keep Harley from being Too Curious about it (or Too Annoying and Trying To Get In the Bathroom about it!)
Leaf
The next button to comic 1032 does not work.
SurlyQueen
Thanks for letting me know!
Follow Me