Category: Blogs

Hello, my Creatures.

I have just returned from the frozen wilds of New Jersey. A good trip with good company was had by all. However, it has been determined that I can never truly leave the South, as I may freeze to death and die outside of it. There was snow. Possibly even two whole inches of it. I was assured by the locals that this was, in fact, nothing. But coming from someone who lives where an entire, thriving metropolis will completely shut down in a similar situation, it’s kind of a big deal. Also, I swear, the snow in New Jersey is colder than the snow I’ve seen on occasion where I live….Okay, okay, it wasn’t really all that big of deal. It’s not as though I’ve never seen snow or anything like that. Atlanta sees snow from time to time, we’re just not nearly as prepared to deal with it as other regions of the country that see this kind of weather every year. Why on earth would a city in the middle of Georgia own a fleet of snow plows when it only sees snow once every five years. And when that city DOES see snow, it’s usually gone with in 48 hours. Tops.

The real reason I can never leave the South is actually due to the inability to reliably procure sweet tea at restaurants. It is my life’s blood.

Also: Hey! Super Bowl. Huzzah! The team I arbitrarily chose to root for at the beginning of the game won! Go Ravens…because they are interesting and intelligent birds…They even got a shiny trophy and some pretty rings….hmmmmmmmm.

That’s all for now, and as always: Thanks for reading!

Just got back from the Frozen North today…More to come later, when I get back in the swing of things. See you tomorrow, Creatures.

That’s all for now, and thanks for reading!

Hello Creatures.

By this point, if you’re reading On the Couch, it should be no secret that I am entirely convinced that the ocean is, in fact, full of nightmares. Sharks are scary, but for me, they are nothing compared to some of the amorphous blob shaped fish with three thousand fangly bits hanging off of them that are just hanging out at the bottom of the sea. My favorite part is that a lot of them glow in the dark for you to catch JUST ENOUGH of a glimpse of them to say to yourself: HOLY CRAP. THOSE ARE A LOT OF FANGLY BITS.

You’re familiar with some of them. Remember that video of the Frilled Shark? What the heck is THAT all about? That guy looks CRAZY. Why you gotta have teeth shaped like that, guy?! “Why the better to shred your tender meat-arms if you ever find yourself down this deep in the ocean. Mwahahahaha.” Morray Eel? Okay, those guys aren’t so much deep-water nightmare, but they are crazy-lurkers. Just hangin’ out, jonesin’ to bite you.

Angler Fish? Hell no. Those things scare the crap out of me, even though I’m fairly sure they almost never come into contact with humans and if they did, they probably wouldn’t be able to do much. But I see all those spindly freakin’ teeth coupled with the dead, soulless, staring eyes and that caveman part of my brain says: NO. THAT IS THREAT. Don’t make eye contact. Stay away. Don’t even watch a youtube video about them because they will come out of the screen a la The Ring and sink all three thousand of those fangly teeth into your precious torso.

Giant Squid? Right. They’ve got eyes the size of my head. LITERALLY. The size of my head and they are crazy-smart. Their only natural predator? Freakin’ WHALES. It takes a friggin’ WHALE to bring one of those things down. And THEY even come up scarred.

I know that’s how evolution drove these creatures to be, and rationally, I know that there’s a function to the way that these swimming horrors appear, but geez. Quit creepin’ everybody out. Now I’ve given myself the heebie jeebies.

That’s all for now and as always: Thanks for reading!

Hello, Creatures!

Right, so Surly Queen is a stick figure version of myself that looks a good deal like a raging fiend. She’s a queen, so she has a crown. It only makes sense. I started drawing her, a thousand years ago, in college for funny little rants I would draw about whatever was bothering me in life at the time. I was younger then, and there was TONS of stuff that bothered me, but I think I’ve (mostly) grown out of things like that, and I’m a lot less surly than I pretend, these days.

But every now and again, something crops up in my daily life that is SO ridiculous and SO absurdly stupid that it BEGS to have a comic drawn about it.

I’m a grown-up now (so I’m told), and I can’t always say whatever comes rushing forth, often GALLOPING at break-neck speeds, from my brain to the tip of my tongue for fear of getting reprimanded. So I usually go home and draw a silly little comic instead, where I DO get to say those things dancing about just waiting to be said!

That’s where the crown finally comes back into play.

I don’t think I ever really explained it before, but I think most of you have figured it out: the crown in the comic is my little way of saying yes, this scenario really did actually happen. But my half of the conversation? That part where I’m saying something that would probably get me yelled at? That bit’s what I was thinking. I only get to say it in the comics, but it MUST be said. Or I might explode.

That happens sometimes.

That’s all for now, and as always: Thanks for Reading!

I swear, contrary to the recent Life On a Stick comics, 1950s Dad and I are both doing much, much better! We’re getting dressed for REAL and going to work just like grown ups again!

One of the many pitfalls of working retail is the fact that I come into contact with a lot of people, and consequently a LOT of germs. Which I then get to bring home and share with my husband. Thankfully, it wasn’t the flu, but it WAS enough to send me home from work early a couple of times. The sinus pressure was something that  I could only describe as Soul Crushing.

Glad to be better again, and thanks for all the get wells and such ^_^

That’s all for now, and as always thanks for reading!

Happy New Year, Creatures!

After over a week of feeling like a complete zombie, 1950s Dad and I are feeling much better! Thanks for all the warm wishes and get betters. AAAAAND: Thanks for another great year of goofiness and zaniness. There’s more to follow, and I’m glad to have you all along for the ride! Hope everyone out there has a great New Year’s (and New Year’s Eve).

That’s all for now, and as always: Thanks for Reading!

Hurr hurr hurr: see you next year!

Merry Christmas, my Creatures!

May your holidays be festive and filled with food and family…and at least slightly less Plague than I’ve got here at my own house (1950s Dad and I are still stupid-sick).

And if you add a little booze, to the mix, know that your holiday will be Krampus approved!

Good morning, Creatures. Tis the season for crazy last minute, mad-dash shopping….and the Plague.

AND the end of the world, I’m told.

Good gracious, have I got a case of the plague. I don’t get ill particularly often, but when I do, there’s little besides being ill that I can muster the strength to do. I’ve got that kind of sinus pressure that makes it feel like my teeth are trying to secede from the nation that is my skull. And to think I’d nearly forgotten what it felt like to have that deep-rooted mouth pain that I was fairly certain only orthodontics could bring!

At any rate, my horrible, seemingly unending plague coupled with the fact that I’m having to go to work on top of all that is the feeble excuse I offer for today’s On the Couch comic being a little late. BUT IT IS UP NOW (And Gatekeeper’s expression is my favorite part about it, it turns out.)! Neither end of the world, nor having a face that feels like it’s full of half-set cement will keep me from my delivery of more Krampus to my little corner of the internet!

But the face full of cement thing will send me shuffling back off to bed for a few more hours! That is all, and as always, thanks for reading!

I’m a self proclaimed Food Tourist.

This is NOT the same thing as being a foodie, as I am fairly indiscriminate when it comes to the foods which I will stuff in my face (Taco Bell tacos to name an example: I underSTAND that they are NOT real tacos. Heck, they’re barely even real food. This does not change the fact that they are delicious.). Food Tourism is about trying just about any food that is placed in front of me at least once (I’ve sampled a couple of things twice. Just to be sure.), regardless of color, smell, or eyes. Needless to say, my friends on numerous occasions have opted to use me as a guinea pig of sorts whenever they’re creating Experiments in the kitchen. Although, given that I heartily enjoy things like Taco Bell tacos, I can’t really call my palette “refined.” Can I tell the difference between high and low quality food? Of course. I simply prefer to embrace my inner opossum and eat All the Food. 

So. When given the opportunity to try something, dubious as it may sound, like pumpkin nog, I jumped at the chance. And found it delicious. And now, I don’t like to share it. I want to drink ALL the pumpkin nog. Even when I have bought the pumpkin nog for the express purpose of sharing it with someone else who ALSO enjoys it. And  I may even cackle a bit, while enjoying all of it, all by myself.

mwahahahaha.

Hello, my Creatures!

A couple of quick notes: One, there may be some weirdness going on with Life On a Stick, as I’m doing a little more tinkering with the site.

Secondly: I want to wish you all a Merry Krampusnacht! Tonight’s the night when Santa’s evil helper, Krampus comes out to collect up all the naughty kids and stick them in a sack…Or beat them with switches. And then take them back to his lair…presumably to eat them.

I hear he can be bribed with alcohol, so get out there, join the Krampuslauf (that’s a whole bunch of folks dressed up like the hairy bad guy), and do some reveling!

That’s all for now, and as always: Thanks for reading!