Yeah, during the “Nothing on the shelves” phase, I bought a small pack of store brand just plain toilet paper. My wife has informed me that this particular type is not welcome now, and in fact has banished it retroactively from ever having been in our bathroom.
It reminded her of one of my favorite old bad jokes:
A native American came to a trading post to pick up a month or two of supplies. He was frugal, bargaining closely on every purchase. Finally he came to the last item on his list: Toilet paper.
The clerk Offered Two-ply padded, two ply, scented, etc., all with various high per-roll prices. The invariable reply was “No Good. You got cheaper?”
Finally he offered a generic brand for 15 cents per roll. “Hmm, good, What’s its name?”
“No name on this, sir. It’s just plain.”
“My people find name for everything. You’ll see.”
And he walked off with a month’s supply.
A month later, the same Native American came back to the trading post.
“No like John Wayne Toilet Paper. No Like, no buy.”
“OK sir, I’m sorry it was unsatisfactory. But why did you name it John Wayne Toilet Paper”?
“Because it is white, tough, and no take S**t off (crude term for Native American withheld)”
4 thoughts on “Toilet Paper”
Ale-8-One Ohmu
Yeah, during the “Nothing on the shelves” phase, I bought a small pack of store brand just plain toilet paper. My wife has informed me that this particular type is not welcome now, and in fact has banished it retroactively from ever having been in our bathroom.
It reminded her of one of my favorite old bad jokes:
A native American came to a trading post to pick up a month or two of supplies. He was frugal, bargaining closely on every purchase. Finally he came to the last item on his list: Toilet paper.
The clerk Offered Two-ply padded, two ply, scented, etc., all with various high per-roll prices. The invariable reply was “No Good. You got cheaper?”
Finally he offered a generic brand for 15 cents per roll. “Hmm, good, What’s its name?”
“No name on this, sir. It’s just plain.”
“My people find name for everything. You’ll see.”
And he walked off with a month’s supply.
A month later, the same Native American came back to the trading post.
“No like John Wayne Toilet Paper. No Like, no buy.”
“OK sir, I’m sorry it was unsatisfactory. But why did you name it John Wayne Toilet Paper”?
“Because it is white, tough, and no take S**t off (crude term for Native American withheld)”
SurlyQueen
Erm…Yikes, that joke is bad on a number of levels.
Davemented
Have you considered getting a bidet attachment for your toilet? They’re VERY nice, you won’t believe you went without one.
SurlyQueen
I have definitely considered it!
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